I think this post is a little deep. Uh oh. But it's just something that I feel led to say.
So of course I watched the Bachelorette last night. (team JP) That's not what this post is about though. Major sigh of relief across blog land, right? I stayed off Twitter and Facebook until I was finished watching so that I wouldn't find out who won.
When I finally returned to my social media addiction, there were SO many tweets/status updates about the bachelorette. And y'all...almost all of them were negative. There were some about "this couple will never make it" and some saying "she is the worst bachelorette ever." There were tons about "the crazy mean sister" and several about "can't wait to see how long it takes this love to fail." It basically hurt my heart. Even as I type this, I know that it kinda sounds SO cheesy of me, but I just really felt like the devil was alive and working through social media.
(Awkward silence?)
I think that the way we act on our blogs, Facebook, email, Twitter, etc reflect the kinds of people that we are in real life. And not that we aren't all entitled to our opinions, but when did everyone become so negative, so judgmental, so jaded? That's what I really felt last night...this negative energy just pervading everything.
Now I know that by this point, 75% of y'all think that I'm nuts, but refraining from gossiping and judging others has really been on my heart lately. It's something that the Lord has convicted me of and mercifully is trying to redeem me from. And it's insanely hard. Human nature is to want to gossip and share stories. But so many times the information that we share is hurtful and negative.
And let's face it, we are pretty two faced. It's okay if we talk about someone, but they better not talk about us. Or is that just me? (I really hope it's not just me!)
Maybe I wear my rose colored glasses a little too much. But I think I'll keep them. : )
So there. From the depths of my soul to the public pages of this blog.
Lord, save me from my sinful ways.
Love, love.
PS: This post is not about any one person in particular! Promise!
64 comments:
i adore you.
i admit, im a total gossip. I know. gasp. However recent event (ie see recent blog post) have sort of sparked a bit of a change in me. Its not that i dont like to know the latest news like everyone else (heck thats why we all have blogs isnt it? to share our lives and to know about others?) but agree, it is how we handle the information we so seek. Where our hearts our when we respond, and how we respond. That is what needs the correcting. Because lets face it, gossip is going to be a part of our lives..its who we are as a society today..but its how we gossip that needs to be altered..i hate the mean and nasty comments about people that someone doesnt even know..its sad. And after yesterdays lil "annoucnement" i have been so humbled by the kindness that was expressed. that it how it should be.
Its better to have loved & lost then never loved at all. That's what I say about all the people waiting for the relationship to end. There relationship would end too if they had an entire world waiting for it.
I'll admit I am a gossip too but I try to keep what I say negative. I'll talk about if people are pregnant, married or have a new job but I try to leave negative events to myself.
I didn't watch the season ending, don't know who she picked. But, how is it that these facebook people think they know what is best for this girl? I hate reading "she shouldn't have picked him, this guys much better, blah blah blah...." Like THEY know what's best for HER?! ummm....no! I think she's the only one that can be the judge of that.
There's my rant. haha!
And I don't think your insights are crazy, I think they make perfect sense and that you bring out a good point that most people wouldn't even think of.
First... Bravo to Megan's comment. That is all.
Secondly, I love this post. I am guilty of gossiping and all that's involved and it's so good to get a reality check every now and then to bring me back to the right path!
I love your rose colored glasses. You are what I need in my life! And this world needs more people like you! Thanks for being so honest and reminding us to stop hatin' :)
Erin
cue not serious comment:
you know you wrote this about about lissie baby bc she is tell everyone about emory ;)
lovey lovey!!
and today i used legit AND jam in one blog post commment... it was epic! :) ole girl is probably confused and thinks im weird!
I agree about the negative attitude that has seemed to take over... Well, everyone. It's sad to me that that we do a lot more time tearing down than we do encouraging. I'm trying to become more of a positive person, and I'm doing that through working towards 1,000 gifts! The more thankful I am, the more positive I believe I'll become. I think it just goes hand in hand.
With that being said, I feel like it's a pretty good observation to say that most bachelor/bachelorette relationships don't work out. After actually getting upset about Emily and Brad last season I decided I needed a break from the show. Why should I care so much about this couple I don't even know? I would never say that a couple 100% Isn't going to work, because I'm not them. But, oh, how real life has killed some of these couples in the past. It's sad to me how they believe the Fairytale of 6 weeks is enough to make a marriage last a lifetime!
Annnnd I'm done. Excuse this ridiculously long comment.
I believe that it is easy for us to judge people especially those on television because in a way we view them as less human or less like us. What we fail to realize is that they are so much like us and have some of the same insecurities and fears that we posses. Why is it so hard for people to be genuinely happy for others to find love and to hope that it works out for them? I want love too and I would hope that when I do find that person that someone out there will be happy for me and not bashing it because it's not their idea of perfect. Great Post!!!
No, I hear ya on the negativity. With other things too. Sometimes it is hard to be positive all the time too... especially with personal things going on. Believe me, I try to look on the bright. But then, I remember it is my Dad's bday this week and how he isn't here. It sucks but a little rant about mindless/staged entertainment makes me feel a little bit better. Ha. I definitely see where you are coming from though!
I either feel gossip and feel bad about it later. OR I just don't gossip. It tends to get back to people, causes problems, and fights about nothing. and it is usually something stupid that could be avoided by NOT GOSSIPING lol.
xo
have a great week
samantha
Great post. This is something I have always struggled with. There is also a fine line of relaying a "prayer request" and gossip. We put the blanket over that makes it appear like we're doing the good Godly thing by asking for prayer, but you know part you is just wanting to tell someone's struggles.
Instead of gossip or bringing ppl down, we need to be edifying them and lifting them up. This pertains mostly to ppl we know...not bachlorette peeps! :) Again, great post.
Oh sweet friend, the world needs more people like you:-) xoxo
I deleted my Twitter account and I'm actually close to deleting my Facebook as well... I feel dragged down every time I read my news feed and its just negative, negative, negative!
You're so right!
Well I def admit to tweeting about my opinions of the bachelorette but I just couldn't stand the insecurities and crying. But that's her. I still watched it. And I AM happy for the both of them. Even for Ben. He learned so much through his journey.
I think we all have tendencies to gossip, especially as girls. Some take it too far though. I've had my encounters with rude negative people. Idk where this comment is going, but it would be a wonderful world if we could all be NICE and loving to each other. You are so so sweet. I agree with Bon Bon...the world needs more people like you :)
Megan, you're so right. I realized this awhile back & have been working so hard on myself & you know what? It feels GREAT!!! I realized a lot of my negative thoughts towards others had a lot to do with how I felt about myself. I have an amazing peace & I don't feel jaded. Granted, I still catch myself with a thought or comment but we're not perfect!!
I think this post was needed, and is needed quite often these days. I know I am guilty of doing all of those things, and wish so much that I would just stop sometimes before thinking, judging, etc and see the positive side of things. I think sometimes people gossip because it makes themselves feel better, and mosst likely the thing they are gossiping about is just to put someone else down to bring them up. I think we all just need to worry about ourselves, instead of dissing on others whether we agree with them or not. I need to really, really work on that. Thanks for the post. I sure needed it.
you always hit the nail right on the head! I go by the whole "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all..." what is the point of talking negatively about the Bachelorette? It's stupid and a waste of energy.. so many people post nasty things or negative things that I've had to hide people on FB simply because they were always being rude. Live your life, be a good person and let others be.. that's my philosophy. :-)
i feel the exact same way!!! i am tired of the negative posts lately!! i always make sure i am posting something positive!! :)
I think we tend to become negative on Facebook because we want a place to vent and for people to agree with us or give us their opinions. I feel like society in general likes to be admired and in the center of it all, and that's why we have those sites...so people can "show off" who they really want to be, or wish they could be. Because honestly, how many of us would just start bitching out a TV show or a celebrity or someone who made us mad if we were just talking to people on the street? Not many. It really makes us sound awful, and I agree with your post.
That being said, I have strayed away from posting things on Facebook lately. I like to post positive sayings, lyrics, or Bible verses because that's so much better than the negative comments everyone else posts. Gotta keep something positive on it!!! :)
Oh how I love theeeee. You are so right. I dont really have any more to say other than that. Oh yeah and the fact that you made me really think about it. I dont normally say things on social networking that are judgemental but when I read them? I tend to agree with those judgments so its hard hard hard. So glad you wrote this!
LOVE!
First - I love you, love this post, love the fact that you use blogger in such a positive and Godly way.. People see Jesus in you, especially through posts like these. That's why we all want more people like YOU!!
Second - The verse Philippians 4:8 came to mind:: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." I think the same could be said of the things that we post/say/blog about others. It's a good general rule to follow, especially when putting things in writing for the whole world to see.
Seriously, SUCH a great post! Hello, conviction... OUCH!
Ughhh...and gossip rears it's ugly head again! Great post Megan...and well said. I've had these feelings about a few different events lately & you put everything on my heart into words!
I completely agree with what Michabella said!
I go to church every sunday. I attended catholic HS. I went to sunday school every sunday as a child. And I don't think I'm judgmental or less of a person for enjoying tweeting about celebs and the idiotic things they say/do in public. They know that they are going to be scruntized because being famous, well that's the life they CHOSE. Now if I was acting on bad things I say, then that would make me a bad person. But I don't.
I think that the celebrity gossip and real people you know in real life are two totally different things. Reality TV is NOT reality, almost acting, and well what they put out knowing viewers are seeing it, is what we get to "judge" them by. ITS NOT REAL LIFE. Is Ashley H. a bad person in real life? No. Was she a terrible choice as a bachelorette? I have to say yes. I can say that because I have watched EVERY single airing of the Bachelor since it debut in 2002. So as a loyal viewer, I can say she wasn't a great pick!
Remember life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Great post Megan! Thank you for saying something that so badly needs to be said. I don't even watch the Bachelorette (gasp, I know!) but I saw all of the negative comments on Twitter last night. I know I'm guilty of gossiping sometimes and saying negative things, but I have been trying to pay attention to it and stop myself. Thanks for bringing this to everyone's attention!
I don't think you're crazy at all. You've hit the nail right on the head! I have to admit I can be a gossip or a judgmental person sometimes without even thinking about it (walking down the street and suddenly I'm thinking things or making assumptions that I have no right to be thinking!). I couldn't agree more that the negativity gets so pervasive it's overwhelming - and it needs to stop. This is a great reminder to all of us to try harder to be fair to everyone. Thank you for sharing it and reminding us all of its importance!
Oh thank you for writing this! I think someone else already commented that people on television are still real people and do deserve to be treated like everyone else... with respect and love. It's not fair of us to judge and say mean things simply because we don't feel that people on tv have no feelings.
Gossip happens, but it's making sure that we're aware of it and trying not to continue it. I just don't understand when people constantly gossip about others.... walk a mile in someone else's shoes! This subject really makes me fired up, because I know firsthand how hurtful gossip can be. I've been dealing with some things recently that make me want to hug and squeeze anyone who's being gossiped about. It's just not nice.
Okay. I'll stop. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! (:
You've hit the nail on the head! Unfortunately I think some of the negative attitudes come from jealousy and also come from the negative economy. I was too young I guess to know when our economy flourished, but I wonder what people would think if we were back on the high side of the economy vs being in this recession they talk about.
Girl you are so riiiiiiiight!!! I pray about this constantly!
i so understand what you are saying! very well put. social media can be so dangerous...to say things we shouldn't....about people we don't know.
i think this post is SO true megan!
i dont watch the bach but i was flooded by all the tweets every 2 seconds! first of all, WATCH the show...stop tweeting...pay attention! lol
second, i completely agree that it reflects the type of person they are. It makes me wonder if people think its "cool" to be negative and sarcastic, aka trying to be humerous, but you never know. I hate gossip but sadly, I do gossip sometimes (mostly with my friends about who we hate in highschool, yada yada haha)
this post really puts a lot into perspective megan and i love you for that!
xoxox
I think recently I've gotten better at being less of a gossipy brat, but I seem to not carry that over to "celebrities."
I need to think to myself "hmm if I met so and so in real life, would I want him/her to know I said that?"
Agree girl!
CarissaExplainsItAll
"this post isnt about one person in particular"
mmhmm suuuuure Megan, I know you totally had me in mind when you posted this.
just kidding :)
but Megan, I loved this post. For one, I AM sort of negative, or well, thats what my sisters call me, I call me "realistic" most of the time, but I guess it can be perceived as negative. like, whenever I hear someone is getting married, I am always like "well THIS won't last," but that kind of attitude could contribute to something NOT lasting, you know?
I totally agree with you about the devil working thru social media, everyone tweeting/facebooking/blogging, etc all kinds of negative things about marriage, people...the more it is talked about the more socially acceptable it is, the more it will become to norm and the more negative the world will be.
So I LOVED this post. You were right on, and that is why I love your blog. YOU are such a warm inspirational bright spot in a sea of negativeness.
love you!!
I consider myself a very positive person. Sometimes all the negativity out there in social media gets me down. I just don't understand. I really don't. Who are we to criticize people all the time? It is almost like social media has made it okay. It makes my heart hurt too!
You are so positive, happy, and refreshing. Love this post and your blog lady:)
I guess it's easier for some people to be rude and mean when it comes to other people's lives because they themselves are so unhappy in their own lives. Hoping Ashley and JP a happy life together!! :)
You're So sweet Megan! :)
Amen, sister:-) No one thinks you are crazy and if they do they are being too judgemental;-)
I completely agree w/you and I think satan loves to take over and manipulate. I've noticed the same thing as you, even w/Nick and Vanessa's wedding, I tweeted about it last week and a girl tweeted to me she gives them 2 years tops. I just thought, why? What's so horrible with wishing them the best?? Why do people have such negative feelings for people they don't even know?!
I've been noticing over the past couple months in myself, gossiping about others around me a little more and have been feeling convicted about it. It doesn't benefit anyone.
I give you thumbs up for this post! :) #waytosayit
www.keepthefaithgoing.blogspot.com
I'm always completely amazed at folks' comments about popular social events. I find myself sometimes even deleting so called 'friends' who truly offend me with their words because I don't need that negativity in my life!
Check out my FREE fundraiser for my local humane society... http://birminghambachelorette.blogspot.com/2011/08/americas-next-pet-tv-star.html
Agree on all levels and love the verse Melissa posted. That's one of my all time favorite verses (:
I think some people are taking the analogy of the Bachelor too far...I think a lot of your point was that we gossip too much in general, in our every day real lives, not just about people on TV. While it's true, they are real people and deserve respect, I'm taking this post much more to heart and trying to apply it to my real life, in my friend circles. Thanks for the reminder, Meg. Needed it (:
I totally agree with this Megan, the internet is the reason why I'm glad I'm not famous. There's too much negativity at times, but thankfully I'm able to ignore it for the majority of times.
Amen! I admit, I am not perfect when it comes to refraining from gossip, but I try too. Its hard...but I def feel where your coming from girl. Tell it like it is!!!
love this post! so true! i noticed last night there was so much negativity on twitter and fb about the bachlorette stuff. good call out! :)
I definitely agree. As someone that has had some negative experience with things getting said about me on Facebook, I feel really strongly that bad mouthing people on public forums just isn't necessary and spreads negativity.
love your heart and your honesty, sister. so glad we both know jesus' love and grace :)
This is definitely so true! And we're all guilty of it at times.. and such hypocrites! Everyone gives in to gossip.. but turns around and gets upset when something negative is said about them. Love this post Megan! You're right on target!
Megan,
This is something I feel strongly about too. I can't believe the amount of negativity that surfaces in social media but its a reflection of many social circles I have experienced too. It took meeting a few very Christ-centered women for me to realize how I can fight it. They taught me that when I am tempted to give in to a fun and juicy convo about someone, I must either think of a positive about them or not take part in the conversation. That is hard...especially when it allows for awkward silences,but gossip only corrodes the heart.
I totally admit I tweet gossiped though yesterday about Kim Kardashian! LOL! See, I fall often.
Thanks for your honesty as always!
<3
Such a great post. There is so much negativity in the world it's unreal. Thanks for always sharing what is on your heart and what God leads you to say!
This is wonderful. Some of the things I see on Facebook and Twitter just makes me shudder. I can't imagine saying the things I saw last night regarding The Bachelorette. I know I gossip but I try so hard not to because it's not kind at all! I try to be kind to everyone almost to a fault. Keep those rose colored glasses girl! I'm wearing them too!
Aw Megan!! You are the sweetest girl around!! I love this post so much! We all needed this reminder, especially me. I try my best to only say the nice things but I catch myself gossiping and it is not ok. Honestly, I'm going to live my life like there are cameras following me. If I had to watch the footage.. would I be ashamed to hear the things that came out of my mouth? Ah thank you for tgis reminder!!
This is a great post love. I think the problem with gossip in our society is that it makes people bond and make clicks. And that makes it a lot easier to keep on gossiping and being negative.
I pray that God helps me get rid of any trace of negativity.
I feel the same! I was so sad to see all of the hate filled posts :( I am in love iwth love. It's kind of gross... but anything that has to do with goofy, silly love... I adore.
I love how honest you are, because let's be honest... we all do. We all talk crap.. whether we are angry, bored, or it's just what we DO! silly people, we are.
Ya know... we can just try to be better. I am definitely more cautious of what I say (I was caught, and called out, for gossiping.... not a good situation) . After that I not only became more careful of what I said... but thought more about what i was actually saying and how others would feel/think.
Okkkayyyyy rambling.
Love your post. Thank you :)
Sabrina Says
I don't think your Nuts in the least! In fact it's refreshing that you would post this.
And that saying, "We're Not Gossiping. We're Networking," is both funny and sad. I think at times in life we ALL slip into that realm of trying to "justify" the gossip.
i love you megan! think you aren't nuts at all. i get so sad when i see people comment about complete strangers... it says a lot about who THEY are, and not the actual person they are talking about! thanks for this post.
i've noticed this a lot recently, and i agree with you wholeheartedly! really, you said it well :) i often try my hardest NOT to gossip, because i know if people were doing it to me, i would NOT feel very good. but i've caught myself slipping more than once, and this post was a great reminder that we really should be a bit nicer!
after all, what would jesus do? :) (i still live my life by this quote that was engraved into me in kindergarten, because it's true!)
I agree 100% with this post!!!
and this is why i think you are so incredible!
I completely agree with this post. Everyone is so cynical these days. It's hard to go anywhere without hearing negative comments about one thing or another, and it really bothers me. I'm sure it makes our Heavenly Father so sad, and when you think about it on those terms, it makes me never want to say anything bad ever again. Thanks for this post!
I am 100% on your team! It's so true. Iremember even years ago thinking, "when did facebook just become and avenue for everyone's complaints?!" seriosuly, it's exhausting to be around so much negativity. And it's sad. It's just not nice. I love that just because we see people on TV in a totally outof the ordinary circumstance, we think we know everything about them and have the right to judge their futures. Not that I'm not guilty of it too, but it still doesn't make it right. I still think Bently is a jerk. See, I have a long ways to go :) haha! :)
Aww, this post was definitely needed! I'm so proud of you for posting this and for setting everyone straight! People definitely go way too far with what they say on social networking sights. I hate when people say FML. It drivessss me nuts!
Great post, Meg! xoxo
You are not nuts, Megan! This is the reason I sometimes have to take a break from social media because of all the negativity! I am a very (sometimes annoyingly, similar to Ryan on the Bachelorette) positive person. Yes, my upbeatness can get annoying (and I think I just made that word up). But I like to surround myself (including in social media) with positivity. So in the end, snaps to this post because it's awesome!
This is such a good post! I totally agree with you - I try to stay off of facebook and twitter because I can find myself getting sucked into the gossip and judgmental comments. I found your blog from Sam at Fitness Food and Faith and I'm loving it!
I completely understand where you are coming from! Gossiping can be a lot of fun, which is so dangerous, especially since it gets negative so quickly. So it would really be a great thing to just shut up and let people do their thing. If only that weren't so hard...
Um...FORGIVE me for not reading this post any sooner.
You couldn't have written this post any better. I agreed with you word for word.
Love it and love you. I adore the fact that you have a great heart! It's refreshing to read.
Xoxo.
I'm totally with you. Sadly people feed off negativity, and I think it's mostly to make them feel better about whatever bad is happening in their lives. It's ridiculous...we should all try to be more positive!
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