Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Post I Never Expected to Write

This is hard...and has taken me a few days to finish. 

My blogging has been scarce lately...and I know it's been noticed because so many of y'all have sent sweet emails to check on me (which I have really needed and appreciated). I wanted to just write a "fluff" post today, something happy to ease myself back into blogging, but I couldn't. No words would come and it just didn't feel "right." 

So instead, I'm ready to talk and spill my heart...to share what has been going on as best as I can. 

On December 19, my husband and I were quite surprised to find out that I was pregnant. We told our families at Christmas and a few close friends in the following weeks. It was a total shock, but we were so excited. We had our first appointment and ultrasound on January 10th at 8 weeks. Our sweet baby looked perfect and the heartbeat was strong at 141. Nothing describes the emotion of seeing your baby on the ultrasound for the first time, even when it barely looks like a speck. Just to hear "everything looks great" is the most wonderful thing in the world. We told a few more people here and there, but were waiting for the "big" announcement until further along in the pregnancy.

We went in for our second appointment and ultrasound on February 7th. I was 11 weeks and 3 days and feeling great. A few minutes into the ultrasound, the tech uttered horrible words, "Let me go get the doctor really quick." I'm a nurse...and I know that that is always a bad sign, but I still wasn't prepared for what came next. The next few minutes felt like hours and seconds all at once and we were informed that our baby no longer had a heartbeat.

Even now it's still really hard for me to type that.

We were shocked, devastated...all those horrible words that really don't convey the hurt or pain deeply enough. I had had no bleeding or pain to signal a miscarriage, yet our sweet baby had already gone to live with our Lord a few weeks before.

These last two weeks have been really bad...but somehow even among that really bad, God has reached down to us and comforted us. Family and friends have come out from everywhere with love, tears, support, food and flowers. We are blessed. Even in this chapter of our lives, we are blessed. Blessed with each other and with our family and friends...and with the TRUTH that our baby lives in heaven...and we will meet him/her one day.

I'm not gonna share all the details of our miscarriage story, but if it's something that you are going through personally or have been through, I am here...I want to love on you and listen to you. I want to pray for you, as so many people prayed for us. Email me, please. I'd love to talk with you. I gained so much comfort and support from fellow bloggers that had had the courage to share their miscarriage stories previously...and now I want to do the same. I want this baby, our baby, to touch other people beyond his/her short days.

We are very slowly picking up the pieces over here. We have good days and bad days, happy moments and heart-wrenching moments. We miss our baby. We are parents, even if we never got to hold our baby. 


179 comments:

Jen said...

Thinking and praying for you. How brave you are to shre with us.

Tracy@GeneralSplendour said...

SO very sorry for you and your husband. My niece just miscarried last week after delivering a still born last year - SO devastating. You are not alone and for whatever reason this does happen. May God Bless you and give you strength and courage to smile again.

~Momma to Twin Girls~ said...

I am so sorry Megan. I will be praying for you and your husband during this time of loss. HUGS to you.

SKB said...

So sorry for both you and your husband. You will both be in my prayers. Thanks for having the courage to share your story, I know it will help someone who reads it. Hugs to both of you.

Michelle said...

I'm so so sorry, Megan! I honestly can't imagine how you must be feeling but I can be here as support and provide you with friendship. My best friend just went through the same exact thing and I know how difficult it must be. I am here for you and will keep you and Justin in my thoughts and prayers! Love you! XOXOXO

Laura said...

Thinking about you both and praying for you guys big time.

Lindsey @ Running Down A Dream said...

I am so, so sorry. You and your husband are in my prayers.

Erin said...

I am so sorry to hear about this...sending all the love and prayers your way that I can. I cant imagine how you and your family must feel, but just remember God is good. Even in the struggles,heartaches, and frustrations..He has your back :) thanks for being real and honest..I am sure so many can relate!

Ashley N. said...

This kind of pain is something I have never experienced. I'm sorry this has happened to you, I will pray for you am your family.

Cait said...

hugs prayers and so much love to you and your sweet hubby. i had a friend go through the same thing and it was devastating to watch but she too knows that she'll meet him/her in heaven as well. xoxo

Shannon said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I experienced a loss in March 2010 and it is something I still carry with me today. I wish it would have never happened, but I know when I do finally get my someday baby in my arms, I will be all the more grateful for God's blessing. Stay strong in your Faith because only God can get you through.

Shannon said...

Oh, and absolutely RUN out and read Heaven is for Real if you haven't already. Helped me immensely with accepting my loss. Read it in 2 days.

Neely said...

I'm so so sorry Megan!! Prayers to y'all

Amarins said...

While reading you're post my first reaction was O wauw, that so cool and the next moment my heart dropped. I'm so sorry to hear this news.

I wish you all the strenght and love you deserve.

KTParrish said...

Praying that the Lord will wrap His mighty arms around you during this time!

Sarah @ 90 Percent Blonde... said...

I am so sorry, Megan. You are strong and will get through this! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Jennifer said...

Im so sorry for your loss! You and your husband are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

Candace said...

I am so sorry Megan. You guys are in my prayers. My best friend lost her first baby but she and her husband are expecting again. Keep your head up. You'll get through this!

Syndal said...

So sorry for your unexpected loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!

Jenni said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Miss Jewells said...

Sending so many prayers and hugs your way! I'm so sad that you have to go through this. If there's anything we blogger friends can do, don't hesitate to ask.

Brittany said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nicole said...

I have been thinking of you and Justin so much. I pray that the Lord is so near today. Love you, Meg.

Angie said...

Sending so much love & many prayers your way. I can't imagine how you must feel but I know that your faith in God is strong & he will carry you through this difficult time.

Sara @ Seeing Purple Stars said...

oh hun!!! i wanted to email you last week and i forgot! praying for you!!!! I had a miscarriage a few months before I had Owen. i know exactly what your going through!! i am here for you friend!!!! <3 <3

ashleigh said...

I'm not sure if you want people to say im sorry, or of you do. But I am sorry that you had to feel this emotional pain and When the perfect time comes..a perfect baby will come too.. Im wishing you all best girly..and if you need anything ANYTHING I am here!

J and A said...

Sending big hugs your way. I'm sorry you are hurting. Xoxo

Lyndsay said...

I'm so sorry. I'm sending lots of thought and prayers to you and Justin!

Pegster said...

Megan, I never commented on your blog but followed. Reading about your story today just brought it so close to home. We just went through the same thing in November. We lost our baby at 10weeks 5 days after seeing a perfect heartbeat at 7 weeks. We already have a baby here on earth with us but it did not make the pain of losing our angel any less. I know that there's nothing that we can say that would make the pain go away. Just know that God has a plan and it's better than anything that you could ever imagine. I pray that he continues to give you the strength in this difficult time and continues to strengthen your marriage. In due time, you will be a mom not only to a baby in heaven but also to a baby on earth. Good luck girly and thank you so much for sharing your story.

Rebekah said...

Oh sweet girl, my heart just aches for you. I haven't been where you are and I'm sure that whatever I could say has already been said to you. I'm praying for you. Cling to Him, that's all any of us can do!

tara said...

oh my goodness, i am so so sorry! will definitely be praying for you during this hard time! HUGS! xo

Jess - PrettyPhysicist said...

Oh Megan ... I have been where you are. If you need to talk or cry or yell, I'm here for you. You have a wonderful husband and family, and you have friends like me that love you. If I can do anything, please let me know.

Katie said...

I'm so sorry!

Praying and thinking about you!

Ashley Slater said...

You did great Megan ;) I love you and I love your heart

xo,
ashley

Erin said...

My heart breaks for you and your hubby and I'm sending many prayers and hugs your way. Know that you are being lifted up in prayer! Love ya!

Breanna said...

Megan, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. My heart aches for you and your husband, and I will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers! XOXO!

Natalie said...

My heart breaks for you Megan, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace and may heal.

Katie Marie said...

I'm so sorry! I'm praying for you, and sending lots of love to you. I can't imagine the pain that you're going through. I hope that the Lord can heal your heart, as well as your hubby's. Have faith that some day, he will give you all of the joy and happiness that a baby can bring.

Jodi Dwyer said...

So very sorry for your loss. You are very brave to share your story and I'm sure it will help others who are or have gone through it. Thinking of you.

Fran said...

Oh no... I am SO, SO sorry Megan! My heart just broke for you. I'll be thinking and praying for you and your husband. *hugs*

Denise said...

I'm so so sorry! That is so hard. I'll be praying for your family and sending thoughts your way!

Tiffany said...

Oh, Megan. Bless your heart. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Just reading it broke my heart. I will keep you all in my prayers.

~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

Allyson said...

I can't even imagine what y'all are going through, but I will definitely pray that the Lord will give you both that peace that passes all understanding.

Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

Lisa @ MMT said...

I am so sorry to read this Megan. You are so strong and so inspiring the way you are handling this. You little angle is in heaven with God. My thoughts and prayers are with your and your family.

Texas Tanners said...

My heart is breaking for you. Praying for comfort & healing & sending hugs your way!

Evelien said...

This is so so sad... My heart breaks for you and your husband... I wish I lived near you so I could send you hugs, food, and lots and lots of love!

Stephanie said...

Praying for you guys!

Heather said...

Megan, I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine your pain right now. You are in my prayers!

Cheyla Marie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be sending prayers your way.

Annie said...

I'm so sorry, Megan. I'm praying.

Holly said...

Megan, I am so incredibly sorry. I know that no words can truly heal the pain you are both feeling, but know that there are SO many people praying for you both!!! I'm sure you already know that, but it's very true. God really is looking down on you both and will bless you with another baby in time. You now have a sweet little angel baby looking down on you forever <3

lori said...

i am so sorry, megan. i cannot imagine how it feels... but know that i will be praying for you! though we can't understand sometimes, God knows exactly what he is doing... and what a reunion you will have with that sweet baby in heaven one day!

have you read the book 'heaven is for real'? if not, you may want to look into it. i would think it would be comforting to you at this very hard time.

LaynahRose said...

my heart hurts really bad for you right now. all i can say is i'm so sorry.

Chelsea Coleen said...

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18. I know He is with you and will get you through this. Know that I am thinking about yall. Love you Meg :)

Allie said...

I an terribly sorry! I'm sure nothing prepares you for this kind of loss. All three of you are definitely in my prayers.

Gail @ Sophisticated Steps said...

Megan, I am so sorry. When I tell you I KNOW what you are going through, it's because I KNOW. God blessed me with 3 children here and 1 in heaven...and I have peace about it. It's the peace that only comes from Him and heals you when it doesn't make sense that you could ever feel "healed" and okay.

You'll be okay...because you are strong in Him! Take your time to grieve. You need to. Praying for you, my sweet friend.

Lindsay said...

It hurts my heart to read this :( I'm so sorry Megan, I can't even imagine what you guys are feeling right now.. Stay strong! xoxo

Meghan said...

Wrapping you and your hubby in prayers and thoughts!

Melissa Jo said...

My heart goes out to you and your hubby. I can only imagine how heartbreaking this is, but know that God is control and a plan of purpose at heart in all of this. Ya'll are in my prayers.

Amy @ Amy Day to Day said...

Oh Megan, I am so sorry. I have known many people that have been through the same thing and though I don't know firsthand, I can understand what you're going through. I am glad you are finding peace and comfort at this time and I hope you continue to feel our Heavenly Father's love!

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry Megan. I am praying for you and your husband, that you find the comfort and peace that you both need. Your baby is living the life we all aspire to lead....a life at the side of our Lord.

Renee said...

Oh sweet girl! I was so hoping that this was not what you and your hubby were going through. I'm so so sorry! Words can't express how much love I have for you! Prayers are being lifted. You are so brave to write this. Love you!!

Ashleigh Nichole said...

Meg I am so very sorry for both you & your husband. I know how hard it is to deal wit the loss of a child eventually it does get easier & allows you to always remember that you are & forever will be parents to a small one no matter what anyone might say. I hope you both will find ways to cope with it together as a whole. My thoughts go out to you both again I am so very sorry sweet girl...

SLM said...

One year ago this very weekend we went through the exact same thing. We saw the heartbeat and a perfectly normal pregnancy at 8 weeks. At 10.5 weeks I started bleeding and found out after 12 hours in the ER that the baby was gone. It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. I grieved for months, even after I was already pregnant again. There is nothing I can say to ease your pain, except that I am SO sorry to hear that you are going through this, that I understand completely how you feel, and that I will pray for you and your husband.

Jennʻs Adventureʻs said...

It breaks my heart to read this, I am so sorry for your guys' loss. I know God is giving you the strength you need as He orchestrates our purposes in this life. I will continue to keep you in my prayers -- just know that you are thought of during this tough time and that you are not alone <3

jessica {creative index} said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. Stay strong and I will be thinking and praying for you both! xo

Celia said...

Oh Megan... I'm at a loss for words. My heart breaks for you. Know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Heather said...

Thinking of you and praying for you. You are so incredibly brave for posting this story here...I've been there. Many years ago, but the memory is there. I'll send you an email if it's ok. Thank you again for posting this something so personal. That you didn't have to, So sorry for you and Justin.

Jocelyn said...

Praying the Lord will provide you with His peace that surpasses all understanding!

Sarah said...

Oh Megan, my heart is breaking for you. NO parent should ever have to go through something like this. Sending so many prayers and hugs to you and your family. Continue to trust in God's plan for you. xoxoxo

Elizabeth and Kyle @ Love Is the Adventure said...

Oh, my goodness. I cannot fathom what you must be going through right now. I know it's probably not helpful to have anyone say how this relates to them because everyone's story and sorrow is unique but my mom miscarried between me and my brother and I do remember that feeling of helplessness and pain. I am so thankful that you and your husband are experiencing God's love, even in this unbelievably difficult place. I am so sorry that this has happened and I am praying for both of you! Thank you for writing such a loving, sweet post in the midst of all of this.

Kathleen said...

Megan, I am so sorry for your loss. Y'all are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of love your way!

Sunny & Star said...

My heart sincerely goes out to you and your family. I will include you in my prayers.

Michaela said...

The verse that Chelsea posted is perfect. I'm so proud of you for this post. You are a true testament to clinging to the Lord in times of trouble. Your sweet baby has a purpose and so do you. Thank you for demonstrating how to be strong and have faith in times of extreme sorrow. You will be blessed, best friend. I know it :)

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this :( Thoughts and prayers are being sent your way!

Consider The Lilies said...

Oh Megan, my heart is aching right now and my stomach is in knots for you :( I just want to give you the biggest hug ever. I am so deeply sorry you and your husband are going through this right now. I know the Lord has greater plans for you love and they will come in time.

never forget Matthew 11:28..Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest :)

I love you girl, me and my hubby will be praying for you and your hubby!

Whitney said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! I know there is nothing anyone can do/say to make you feel better. My husband and I just went through this is October/November. Our baby made it to a little over 6 weeks and it still hurts to think about it. My faith has really been challenged in this time and I'm waiting for the day God gives us a baby to bring home and raise to love Him. I will be thinking about and praying for you both!

Faith said...

Oh Megan my heart is breaking. I am so so sorry to hear of you and hubby's loss. Thinking of the both of you and sending prayers above that God gives you the strength and peace you need during this difficult time. I'm so sorry again.

Elisha(: said...

ohhhh Megan...I will definitely pray for you!!!!! <3 <3 love you gorgeous!!

Sunni Dae @ It's A Sunni Dae said...

My heart hurts for you, I can't imagine the feelings you are feeling. I cried as I read this post, I will be praying for you and your family.

Purposely at Home said...

the Lord bless you and keep you, may He shine is countenance upon you...and give you peace.

xo
purposelyathome.blogspot.com

Lauren said...

Megan... I have been wondering about you lately and why you haven't been blogging that much. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. My heart breaks for you. You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm really hoping God will help your heart and allow you to heal.

xo

Marie said...

i too, have been where you are. we lost our first baby.

i know there's nothing to be say,
but i will pray.

Jenna said...

I'm so sorry Megan, I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a huge virtual hug! I can't imagine what you must be going through now, but know that you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers and have strength in the fact that God is watching over you two. As difficult as it may seem right now, he has a plan for you and try and take comfort in that fact.

Love you lady, thank you for being brave enough to share this.

xxx
Jenna

Our Little Family said...

Sending lots of love and prayers your way. So sorry you are hurting right now... Love ya girly! XOXO!

Sherri said...

I'm so sorry to read about this Megan. I wish I could give you a hug. You are so brave to share this & I know that your baby will & has touched a lot of people. I'm not a very religious person, but I like to think of myself as a spiritual person so I'm praying for ya, hun, & for your husband too. I have always admired your love in the Lord, & I know that love will give you the strength you need right now & that's a beautiful thing. Xoxo

Claire said...

In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Molly Jac said...

Oh Megan I'm so so so sorry, my heart breaks for you and your husband. I know the Lord has great plans for you and will carry you through this hurt. I will pray for you daily!

Ashley said...

So sorry girl! I know it's been tough for y'all, but know that we are all praying for you and wishing you well! I hope you're doin better and just know you're in my thoughts and prayers sweet girl!

Raquel said...

Oh Megan i'm so sorry to hear this :( I can't even imagine what it feels like to go through this. Sending you and your family lot's of love girly.

xoxo

Jillian Nicole said...

So touched that you would share this with all of us. You and your sweet family are in our prayers and I pray that you would know the full strength and power of our God's great love for you through this hard time.

Love,

Jillian

Anna said...

I feel so sad for you and your husband...
My sister (one year older than me) is pregnant. She lost her first one though, the day before her first doctor's appointment. Being the nurse in the family, I was the one she called. All I could tell her was that we were all there for her, and that's the same thing I'd say to you...we're all here for you. I am so sorry.

Michelle @ The Vintage Apple said...

Sending lots of love, prayers, and strength to you and your husband, Megan. God will get you through this. I'm here for you.

xoxoxo

Jessica said...

you & your family are in my thoughts, god bless you.

Courtney B said...

Oh my sweet Megan. I am SO sorry. I just want to give you a BIG hug! I can't imagine the pain you and your sweet husband have been through. It IS comforting to know that your baby is with our Lord again, but I also believe that you will be able to raise that baby someday! It will be your baby forever and ever! I truly believe it from the bottom of my heart.
You are so lucky to have such amazing family and friends, I am grateful for that! It's comforting to know that you aren't alone right now.
I LOVE YOU, Meg! I hope you know that. I am praying for you both!

French Lover said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

Laura said...

Praying for you and your husband! So sorry for your loss but thankful that you WILL see your sweet baby one day!

sarah @ shades for {.e.v.e.r.y.} adventure said...

meg, there are no words to sincerely express how sorry i am for your loss. just know that i am sending positive thoughts your way and will be thinking of you and your husband in my prayers. xo

Breanna Veth said...

Wow I admire the strength and confidence that you have in the face of all of this. There are things that come through in our lives that seem like there is no way to get through it but God's plan is perfect and he never gives us more than we can handle. It is clear that you are confident in the Him and his ways. I am so sorry for your loss and I pray that you and your husbands will have comforted hearts.

Nicole said...

I know there are no words that you haven't already heard so all I can say is, I'm sorry!

Hilary Anna said...

Praying for you Meg! Blogging is amazing, because we can all come together and support each other. Just from reading your blog I feel like I know you, and i'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard, but just remember that God has a plan for everything even if we don't understand it.

Joey said...

In absolute tears over here as my heart breaks for you and your husband. Will be praying hard for you as you recover from all of this. I am so, so sorry for your loss, Megan. Hugs to you.

Meg O. said...

I have been thinking about you a lot. My heart hurts so much for you. Y'all are definitely in my prayers. God has wonderful plans for y'all - I just know it. You are so brave to share your story. God bless you sooo much!!'

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I am so so sorry to read about whats been going on....Sending my love

Natalie said...

Megan so sorry to hear about this...I know this cannot be easy. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Mrs. W. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Megan. I had two pregnancy losses last year and it's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. You're in my thoughts and prayers - I promise, it will get better. In the meantime, I'm praying for peace and comfort for you and your husband. Take care of yourself.

Emily said...

Megan, I am SO sorry to read about this. I can't say I personally know what you are going through, but I have had family and friends who have had miscarriages and saw how greatly if affected them. Just know that there is a plan and God knows it, although we question things that happen in our lives everyday. God knows when the time is right for you. I know you have so much love and support right now and that will really help you to deal with the process. You are such a strong woman (and mom and wife) for going through this and having the courage to share it. I'm glad you are using this as a way to help others as well... that will help in your healing process. So much love for you... xoxo

Happiness Is... said...

Oh, I am so very sorry. I haven't blogged about this because of how many people I know IRL that read my blog (but I am very open about it with bloggers and close friends), but we went through the exact same thing late in 2011. I understand the devastation, feelings of "why us," and ups and downs. It's an emotional roller coaster, but He will be there for you every step of the way. I read a great book called What Was Lost, A Christian Journey Through Miscarraige (here - http://www.amazon.com/What-Was-Lost-Christian-Miscarriage/dp/0664235204/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329697231&sr=8-2) if you find solace in words. I also found some helpful information in this post, if you haven't seen it - http://mamaandbabylove.com/2012/01/31/my-natural-miscarriage-story/

Mostly, I will be praying for you. Email me if you want to vent or talk - I am still grieving in my own ways, but it has definitely gotten better/easier with time, though my heart still aches for our precious baby. For some reason our babies were meant for heaven, but that doesn't necessarily ease the pain. Hugs and prayers.

Mrs. Kee said...

oh sweet Megan, your post made my heart hurt and my eyes welled up with tears. I am so sorry for your loss. I know the Lord is cradling you in His arms right now, just fall into Him. Give it to Him. I am praying for you two. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Young and Fabulous said...

Oh Megan I am so sorry to hear this but God has a plan for everything and even through this hard time there are good things coming your way. Prayin for you both so so much! Love you girl and I'm here if you ever ever need anything!

Y'all are SO strong
Xoxoxo

DeeJay said...

Oh Megan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Keep your faith and God will see you through.

Sending love and prayers your way,

Deejay

Kristin said...

Megan I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am praying for you and your husband during this difficult time in your lives.

Jess@BeingMrsBeer said...

Megan,

I'm so there with you - we experienced a miscarriage last month at 8 weeks 3 days. I'm so glad you found the strength to write about it - I know from experience it does help along the healing process. If you ever need an ear, just let me know. Thinking of you all.

Shalyn said...

Oh my goodness Megan! I am praying so hard for you guys right now! I'm so so so so sorry for y'alls loss! I'm thinking about you guys. Xoxoxoxo. Love you!

Tiffany said...

I am so sorry! I couldn't imagine the pain you must feel. You are in my thoughts and I am hoping the very best for you two!

Elissa said...

thinking of you and praying for you!

Laney Ellen said...

Oh Megan. My heart just broke into a million pieces for you. I am so sorry. My prayers for you are so abundant right now. I can't even imagine the pain, but I am sure that God will comfort you and has comforted you. I hope that you continue to be strengthened by him, day by day. Today I read "I can do all things through christ who strengthens me." I think it is such a common verse so we tend to overlook it a little. But when we think about it and let it soak in and bring peace to our soul it is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I remember being so upset and sad and depressed. I would be laying on the floor, crying and begging God to help. Saying "I can't do this". In a way, no I can't. But I can do ALL things through christ who strengthens me. We can get through this! You have so much love and support. God is so amazing and is going to wrap you up in his love and take care of this heartbreak in your life. I know he will use it for his glory. I hope you know how much I will be thinking and praying for you!

Nikki said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

--Amie-- said...

There are no words to ease the pain. That is something only God and time can do....I'll be lifting you and your husband up in prayer! God Bless you both, and the little miracle that you have yet to meet....

Candace said...

Megan you are incredibly brave to share this with all of us! I love you and will be praying for you and Justin. I have never experienced this myself, but I am here if you ever need to a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen. Thank you so much for trusting all of us with something so personal and beautiful. Your baby is in heaven and Jesus is rocking him or her to sleep tonight. Take comfort in the Lord and all your family and friends. Again I love you and will be praying!

Chelsea said...

My heart and prayers go out to you. I am so sorry to hear about this. Your strength and faith will lead the way. I know and trust that God has a plan and will bless you. Just know that we are all praying for you and sending our love to you!! xoxo

Whitney @ Everything Happens For a Reason said...

I'm so sorry :(

Alexis said...

my heart hurts for you right now, but you and your husband are so strong, and so brave for sharing this. and you truly deserve all the love and support you are receiving :) i hope you continue to have those good days and happy moments-and they make the bad days go by quicker. and i know that by sharing this, you are truly helping someone else out now. i'm praying for you and don't forget that God is always by your side with you....no matter where he takes you :)

Danielle said...

This really made my heart hurt while I was reading this. I'm so, so sorry. I could not imagine going through that. I'm a mom so I can only imagine how you feel. Vent away on your blog. That's what it's for & that's what we're here for. :( I will keep you guys in my prayers!

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry to hear Megan :-( I've been wondering why there has been plenty of guest posts.

My heart is with you and your hubby, you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. You have an amazing support system from the sounds of it, they will help carry you through <3

Leslie said...

thinking and praying for both of you!

Allison said...

Thinking about you and your husband and sending prayers your way. I am so sorry and saddened to read this. Know that you have 1000's of people praying for you!

Work Hard, Play Harder! said...

After reading this, it has been so heavy on my heart all day. I pray for much, much peace for you and the hubs!

BeckyJo606 said...

I am so sorry to read this, Megan. You are going to be such a wonderful, wonderful mom to a little baby someday and I cannot wait to rejoice with you over it. I will be praying for you and your husband so much. And, I really admire your courage and bravery in blogging about this! You inspire me!

Mrs. Yellow Ribbon said...

Thinking of you!

Tiffany said...

I am so so sorry to hear that. My heart breaks for you. My prayers are with you and your hubs!

Caitlin said...

There's not even words.
I had noticed your absence from the blog, but just figured it was a little something that I had noticed other bloggers going through.
I am so, so terribly sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. It's times like these that the support and prayers of those close to you and even strangers like so many of us in the blog world can mean so much.
Thinking of you and your husband and lifting up prayers for you both.

Amanda said...

Megan, I am do so sorry for your loss. You are an amazing, strong and perfect child of God, and I know that he has a greater plan for you and your husband. I'm sending you so much love and hugs. You know when where and how to find me if you need ANYTHING at all!

Julie @ The Smitten Mintons said...

Again, you absolutely blow me away with your strength and courage for writing this. I know you are blessing others with your honesty, and you show such grace in this hard time. We're praying for you and Justin, and we love you both!

Christine said...

I am so sorry to hear for your loss. I am not married nor do I have any children so I have no idea what this experience is like but I know that it has to be extremely hard. Stay strong. You will get through this :)

Julie @ The Smitten Mintons said...

Oh, and I saw someone else commented that you need to read Heaven is for Real if you haven't already....I think it will help so much :)

Miranda said...

i'm so sorry for your loss. you are in my thoughts and prayers! I agree with others... Heaven is for Real is a great book to read...it really opened my eyes.

Bethany said...

<3<3<3 praying for you guys!

Tami said...

Oh Megan- my heart is just broken for you and your husband. I am so very sorry for your loss and I will be praying for y'all.

Christina said...

I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. I know there isn't anything that can be said to make it better, but I'm praying and sending love. I am so grateful that God has been so present for you, and I trust that He'll continue to carry you through this.

Janna Renee said...

Now you have an angel to watch over your next child <3 I am so proud of you for being so strong. Thank goodness for your faith, and I'm sure your hubby is taking good care of you. xoxo

Bon Bon said...

I love you I love you I love you! I looooove you! xoxo

Holly said...

I'm so sorry Megan. I don't know what to say, but I couldn't not comment.

Heather (GurleeGirrl) said...

Megan, I am sending my condolences to you, your husband and your entire family. I know how hard it is for everyone when this happens. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Megan said...

so brave my sweet love. so proud of you for writing this as i know it was not easy. now let this community just love on you.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Debbie said...

You and your husband will continue to be in my prayers.

It's A Love Story said...

I'm sorry to hear about your lose. We will keep your family in our prayers.

Jenni@Story of My Life said...

Aw, Megan. I am so, so sorry. Of course words can't even express how much, and they aren't enough. Sometimes life, and death, just don't make sense. I hope some good will come of this for you, in time. Love you girl.

Allison said...

Megan, I am so sorry for all the pain you are going through. I will be praying and thinking about you. Be still and know that God is here.
He has a plan that will one day reveal itself, until then, I pray that you find comfort in this time.
Lots of Love!

Holly said...

Megan,
I am so deeply sorry about your loss. Words could never express my sincere condolences of the loss of your baby. Praying for you and your husband.

Lauren @ A modern day wife's journey said...

I am so so sorry to hear this my sweet girl, thinking and praying for you and your family xoxo

Lindsay said...

Oh Megan I am so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you. I hope your good days soon outnumber your bad ones.

Jenna E said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and your husband xoxoxo

Amanda @ New Adventures said...

O Megan! My heart breaks for you both. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Emily w/Amazing Grapes said...

Oh girly, i hope each day brings a little bit more healing for you both. I can't imagine the pain and sadness you're going through.

I'll keep you both in my prayers for continued healing. *hugs*

The Little Flapper said...

Megan my heart feels for you and your husband. The only thing that provides me with comfort is knowing your baby is rejoicing in heaven with the best care taker, our father in heaven. I will be praying for you all during this difficult time. You are loved sweetheart, please do know that.<3

Beth Ann said...

Oh, sweet Megan. My heart is breaking for you. You know I have been there. I know your pain. Please email me (sbhubert@att.net) if you need to vent, etc. although I know you have tons of other people for support...please know I'm here. I know all too well that there isn't really anything to say that actually helps...but just know I'm praying for you...and look at my Holden and be assured that God is faithful. Hugs & Prayers.

Katie said...

Oh sweet girl...I am so so sorry! I can't imagine how hard the last week has been for you guys. Praying for you today and thanking Jesus for his healing love! :)

Alexis Kaye said...

Oh Megan. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could say or do to bring you comfort. Just know that I have hope for you for the future. I have faith that someday you will be a mom to a baby you will get to hold and love on and squeeze and raise and you will be an AMAZING mother. I love you!

Kathy Schneider said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you.

The Presutti's said...

I'm here for you sweet girl. Praying for you and your family. :) :)

Tatiana said...

My heart breaks for you. I am well aware that there are no words that I can say which will make you feel better. Just time, and the sweet promise of Jesus that you will get to hold your sweet precious baby in your arms again. Praying for you. Love you.

Erin said...

Megan,

I am so sad that I did not see this until today. I am praying for your hearts. I pray that God fills your heart with Him and that He assures you that your precious sweet baby is safely in His arms. You will see your sweet baby one day. You are amazing. I love you so much. Let me know what you need hun.

Ashley said...

Megan, I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel right now. But I pray God brings you comfort during this time. I really do. You are simply amazing, strong and beautiful inside and out. Stay strong sweetie! Sending hugs and prayers!!

Ashley said...

I am soo sorry that you have had to go through this! I know just how hard this is and the pain drags you down. I know there are no words for someone to say to make this okay, but stay strong!

Emily said...

I am getting caught up on my blog reading and I am so sorry that I missed this post. My heart and prayers go out to you and your hubby! I am so sorry! :(

Jillian said...

This news break my heart. I'm so sorry, Megan. You are such a strong woman and your little one will never be forgotten. Hugs and Prayers to you and your husband! xo

Hilary Lane said...

Ugh my heart breaks for you. No one should ever have to go through losing a child. :-( I don't know you well, but from what I read on your blog you are a super strong woman with an amazing husband and you guys have an amazing relationship with God to get you through the really sucky times. Thinking about & praying for you guys!

The Yarbrough's said...

I'm sooo sorry to hear this. I can't imagine and don't want to imagine how hard this has to be for you and your husband. Always know that GOD knows best and EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I know it's hard tho. Keep your chin up. God said he would never put anymore on us than we can handle. I can tell you are a strong girl and you are going to be just fine. Keep smiling!! God will bless ya'll with another. ;)

Brittany @ Boots and Pearls said...

My heart aches for you! Please know I'm thinking and praying for y'all!

sandi said...

we have been there ~ twice. not easy to go through and yet you have opened up and made yourself available and vulnerable to others. so many times when life hands us difficulties we close up; by opening up and sharing your story you will touch others with your faith. i think of those babies being rocked by grand-parents in heaven on occasion. but our story does have a sweet ending in that we share our earthly lives with three miracles. sending sweet thoughts your way. i don't comment often, but your blog is very encouraging and upbeat. i like that!

Amber said...

Megan, I am so sorry. I have been lagging as far as blogging goes, so I am just reading this. I am so so so sorry to be reading this I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. I will def keep you, your friends and your family in my prayers!

Traci said...

I've been on vacation all week with no internet access so I'm just seeing this. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what y'all are going through. I'll be praying.

Emily said...

oh megan, i am so sorry. i am just now reading this and i am sending up prayers right now for you and your family. i can't imagine this loss, but i know God is wrapping His arms around you, as well as around your sweet baby in heaven.
xoxo

Nicole said...

I'm so sorry Megan...I'm thinking of you!!!!

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

Oh Megan... I don't know how I missed this post until today. I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you at the time. But even still my heart breaks for you as I know you are still dealing with this grief. My prayers are with you today, sweet lady. Your story will touch so many hearts and lives. Thanks for being willing to share.

Stephanie @ Blonde Highlights said...

I am just catching up with you after a couple of weeks! I am so so so sorry to hear this! Many prayers for you and your husband... I hope that each day has gotten better!

Sarah @ Scissors and a Whisk said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I love reading your blog because you are such a happy and cheerful person, and I wish that you didn't have to go through this pain. I personally don't have any children, but I can't imagine what you're going through. I love that you said you two were still parents even if you never held your baby because that is so true.

<3

Emily said...

hi megan! i just recently found your blog, and this post definitely hit home. i had a miscarriage almost a year ago now and have yet to get pregnant again. we haven't really been trying, but are thinking about it soon, and i can't help but be so scared that it will happen again. how did you feel with your current pregnancy? were you walking on eggshells until you hit the second trimester?

any peace of mind would be greatly appreciated! and congrats on your little girl! :)