I opened up a blank page because my heart felt heavy and I knew that there were words that I needed to write. Within minutes these words were tumbling out...and it felt good let them flow. Sometimes it's good to hold the emotions in and feel them. Sometimes it's good to release them. So that's today. A release.
To my husband:
I can still remember the day that we exchanged vows. It seems as though it was yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once, and yet the happiness that I felt then, I still feel now. I look at you and know that this is meant to be...this is that true God intended love. On that day, we promised to love each other throughout our entire lives, the sick and healthy, the good and bad. We had no idea what life would throw our way, but we knew that we wanted to face it together. I met you and I knew that I had found my God-given other half.
I can still remember those words...they echo around my head at random moments throughout the day. "No heartbeat." "Baby didn't make it." They are like vines that twist around my neck, trying to slowly strangle the breath from me. But then I remember you...and the way that the floor went out from beneath me when we found out that our baby was gone, but somehow I was still standing because of your support. With your hand in mine and another on my back, we faced our worst fear. Sometimes those moments in the doctor's office are crystal clear...and sometimes I can't remember any of them. But I always know that you were my strength during those moments. You held me and comforted me and I don't think I could have walked a step without you. I feel like I would have suffocated from the sorrow and the pain, but you breathed for me when I couldn't, with a touch, a tear, a hug and a prayer. You picked me up at my lowest.
And you are still my comfort and my strength, taking care of me and putting my needs first. You understand when I need to randomly burst into tears and when I want to lay in bed and bask in my sorrows. And you lay with me...and you whisper everything and nothing...and somehow it all seems better when I realize that I am going through this with you. And knowing that your strength comes from the Lord, makes it all even more perfect...to know that together we give our hearts to the only one who sustains us.
And I think it's good sometimes, that we can't see the punches that are coming our way. Because I think that maybe if I saw what was coming, I wouldn't be able to face it. I'd try to turn and run. But instead, we live and we fight through the storm as it comes, trusting that God will never leave us. I'm so glad that I get to ride this "lifeboat" with you, under the lead of our Captain, as He guides us and revives us, wave after wave.
I love you. So much.
59 comments:
oh Megs, that was so sweet! You are blessed to have such an amazing soul mate - I know that not everyone is as lucky as we are in that respect. When you're at your darkest, just remember, not only does God love you and your husband loves you, but I love you. Call me or text me, because I know how you're feeling.
I literally have tears falling! This is so bittersweet. How blessed you are to have each other! Thinking of you and praying for you!
So sweet! Also, love your pictures!
Megan this is so incredibly sweet and filled with love! How lucky we are to have the ones that we love so close to us during difficult times, because I agree, it would be almost impossible if we were alone.
Thinking of you my sweet friend :)
xxx
Jenna
I love this! The best men are the ones who pick us up when we are down and at our worst and won't walk away. My husband is the same way and has already helped me through a few of my low moments as well. It is the best to have a best friend you know will always be there for you and will let you cry like a 2 yr old with snot running down your nose and bring you a tissue or wipe it on their shirts. It's nice to know they love us so much and won't give up on us no matter how long we take to heal. Glad we found good ones! xoxo
What a testimony you two have!! Thanks so much for sharing the most intimate parts of this difficult journey you and your hubbie have to face.
what a beautiful letter and testimony of the relationship the two of you have. We are so fortunate to have men in our lives to support us through hard times - the two of you are so strong together and for one another when the moment calls for it. While the situation is hard, I know (as do you) that God has a plan for you and your husband. Thank you for sharing such intimate thoughts and stories with us.
what a beautiful letter and testimony of the relationship the two of you have. We are so fortunate to have men in our lives to support us through hard times - the two of you are so strong together and for one another when the moment calls for it. While the situation is hard, I know (as do you) that God has a plan for you and your husband. Thank you for sharing such intimate thoughts and stories with us.
This made me tear up! Yall are so blessed to have each other during the good times and the bad!
Tears.
That was so precious. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. You and your husband have an amazing relationship :)
I'm so glad you have this love with him. And for those that don't, the Heavenly father fills those shoes regardless. With God as our first love, the rest is icing in the cake.
Have a beautiful day.
i love the pure, wholesome love you two have...seriously. it's INSPIRING!
xoxox
That was the most beautifully written letter I have ever read. God has tremendously blessed you. Always remember that He knew this would happen to you before you were born. He knew you would suffer, and cry, and ask why. But He knows that you also seek Him, and ultimately, He will heal you both. God Bless!
how beautiful is that.... you guys are blessed to have each other!
So sweet, Megan. If I weren't at work, I would be in tears. And I'm sure that you being there helped him along the way too ...
God definitely blessed you with an amazing husband. you are so lucky :)(but i'm sure you already knew that ;) )
and let me also say, i love the way your wrote it too. God also blessed you with a way with words :)
That made my eyes tear up! I don't even know you, and I feel like I do! You have a way with words. So sorry about your loss, I can't say I know what you are going through, but I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
This made me literally cry! So beautiful and purely from your heart. I am so sorry for what you are going through and I wish I could take away all your pain :(
I am so happy that you have such a wonderful relationship with your husband. Your love for one another is truly inspiring. God knows our plans and I know he has something amazing planned for you too.
Thoughts and prayers are with you
BEAUTIFUL!
Tears in my eyes....
My heart both broke and soared when I read this. I'm so sorry you and your husband had to go through such an ordeal. I'm happy that you're blessed with a wonderful husband and spiritual life to help you through. We are truly never alone.
You gave me the chills. I can only hope and pray my husband loves the Lord and me like how Justin does you. What a sweet release of words, Meg...so beautiful :)
That really was beautiful. How wonderful God blessed you with such a strong loving husband who cares for you so deeply.
Emily at Amazing Grapes
oh what a beautiful relationship! a true testament to the power of marriage and God in marriage! Keep releasing those powerful emotions and words! There is truth and healing in them! xoxo
What a beautiful post. It was truly touching. Your words brought me to tears. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. But I know it helps having such a wonderful husband to walk along side you.
This is an incredible testament to your faith and your love for your husband! Thank you for sharing with us!
Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com
SO sweet. Isn't it amazing how strong our husbands can be when we can't be? Still praying for you!
Oh Megan, how you know how to make me cry... What a beautiful, touching, but most importantly APPRECIATIVE letter to your husband. You two were meant for each other, and I know he loves you just as much, if not more :) I hope you're staying strong!
I just love you two! I am so happy God led you two together. There are no 2 people that were meant for each other more than you and your sweet hubs! Lots of prayers and love are being sent tour way. xoxo
i just cried over this beautiful letter. While I would never wish this kind of sorrow on anyone, I am so very glad you have your soul mate right by your side to carry you through when you can't carry yourself. xo
this is beautiful, what an incredible blessing from God to have wonderful, loving men in our lives!
So beautifully written! You are so lucky to have such a great love!
OMG. I'm tearing up reading this. This is utterly beautiful.
i knew just by the title of this post it was going to be full of love and truth! i adore the way you express your heart to us and to your husband! y'alls marriage, love and faith ispiring beyond words! still thinkin' of you, my dear! still praying for you guys! stay strong :) hugs!!
http://mixedelanie.blogspot.com/
Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Megan this melted my heart. I am thankful for husbands who pick us up when we are down and seek the Lord with all their heart!
http://prayerstomyking.blogspot.com/
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. What a treasure and blessing you have in your husband and in Him. You know I hate that you all have to endure this storm, but He will get you through. There is a reason for this, but we can't see it now. I completely understand the days where you just can't forget or move on or understand. But He sees it all - the big, beautiful picture of your life. Praying for peace, understanding and healing.
This is so sweet. You are truly blessed to have each other and it is so nice that you voice that in this beautiful way. You guys take great pics together by the way.
You are so sweet. I so enjoy reading your posts and know that you always have something to teach or offer.
Praying for you still sweet girl. I am so glad you have such a wonderful man in your life!
So sweet! He's lucky to have you :)
You two are amazing. Thank goodness for a God who can provide healing, comfort and peace and who can provide us with another person to share life's joys and sorrows with. So beautifully written Megan.
What a sweet and wonderful letter to your husband. I can't imagine going through what you two are going through.
you are such a sweetheart. you two will totally make it out of this so much stronger. It's hard to think of how things like this are god's plan but I know that they are. Thinking of you :)
I am in tears over this post, so beautifully written. My heart breaks for the two of you, but you're both so lucky to have one another to lean on during these tough times!
Meggie, you make my heart happy. I remember us talking about the best hair straighteners when you were a high school senior, and now, I'm watching you live a Godly life, chasing after Jesus. Love you. I'm so glad you are my sister's best friend. :)) Love you.
Such a precious, heartfelt letter and I totally relate. I mean...I have been exactly.where.you.are. My heart aches for you...and at the same time I know I don't have to worry about you because you have a wonderful hubby and because you have God as your guide. You truly have all you need. I know I also don't have to worry because I'm on the other side of that heart ache...and I know God is faithful...and that He will provide. One day, you will be sitting next to your hubby, holding your precious, sleeping newborn baby and you will feel like this time right now was a lifetime ago and just yesterday all at the same time. This is just a season....and there are better seasons in store for you and your sweet husband. I just KNOW it! :)
Aw Meg! This is beautiful <3
I may or may not have just shed tears.
You. Are. Loved.
and this is supremely sweet.
Oh sweet girlie, I'm so happy that you guys have each other! This post really touched me, I still have the tears in my eyes...
And I'm SO happy that you know our amazing God that carries you and your husband through this hard time! He has some great plans waiting for you :)
wow. this is beautiful and amazing in so many ways. i know how blessed your HUBS must feel to have to you. praising our KING for putting y'all together through life's ups and downs. xoxo
Wow. This is beautiful. I just cried!
That should have come with a warning "prepare to bawl like a baby" So sweet! I am so thankful God gave you such a great husband!!! Nothing better than knowing someone has your back no matter what!!
What a beautiful letter. I'm glad you have such a wonderful husband to support you.
What a beautiful, emotional letter to your husband. Still praying for both of ya'll.
This post is so so sweet! Brought me to tears.
This is so beautiful and is exactly what I need at the moment. I want to remember that my husband needs my support for his deployment, and as wonderful as he is- he deserves it. You two are a wonderful inspiration to us all. Your KIDS and grandkids are going to be so proud of y'alls love story <3
We've never met. I have no idea how I began following your blog, but I know that we are sisters in Christ! The tenderness and raw emotion in this brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for the trials you've experienced- but I love that you are using them for God's glory by blogging! May God bring you and your husband continued joy and blessings as you continue to follow in His steps.
Hi Megan!
I loved this post so much that I included it in my link up, Lots of Link Love! Lots of Link Love is a biweekly link up inspired to share the love between bloggers and work towards a positive community of fabulous bloggers such as ourselves! ;)
http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com/2012/03/lots-of-link-love.html
I would love if you shared Lots of Link Love with your readers (there's a button you can share at the end of an unrelated post if you'd like!) and would be overjoyed if you considered linking up with me for the next Lots of Link Love on Thursday, March 22!
Casey
http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com
Hi Megan!
I loved this post so much that I included it in my link up, Lots of Link Love! Lots of Link Love is a biweekly link up inspired to share the love between bloggers and work towards a positive community of fabulous bloggers such as ourselves! ;)
http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com/2012/03/lots-of-link-love.html
I would love if you shared Lots of Link Love with your readers (there's a button you can share at the end of an unrelated post if you'd like!) and would be overjoyed if you considered linking up with me for the next Lots of Link Love on Thursday, March 22!
Casey
http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com
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