I'll be honest, the last few days have been pretty rough.
I'm still dealing with our miscarriage, and then on top of that several friends of mine have suffered tragedies lately. A friend found out that her baby has a condition where he likely won't live past two years of age and a friend from college had a miscarriage. Then a coworker of mine found out that she has brain cancer that has already metastasized to multiple places in her body. They are saying she only has months to live...she's in her early 40s with five kids under the age of 18.
Everything coupled together just seemed to overwhelm me and my heart felt so heavy. I had one of those moments where I just thought...Why God? I didn't doubt Him or that He still reigns on His throne, but my heart was aching and I needed the comfort that only He can provide. I know that the world is sinful and the devil is active and bad things have to happen, but I definitely still don't really understand why. And I was struggling with that the last few days.
I've spent a lot of time in prayer and am really starting to feel a peace in my heart again, but that doesn't make any of the above situations any less painful. I don't know why this world has to be so hard and devastating at times, but I do know that God wants us to be with Him in Heaven eternally...and there is NO pain and NO hurt there, NO tears and NO devastation there.
And I guess today I'm just feeling really grateful that there is a Heaven waiting for me. I honestly don't know how people get through life without the Lord and His love and promise of an eternal life.