Last month, I shared a post with funny patient sayings (here) from working in the Emergency Room. Y'all asked for more and so here it is...round two. Be prepared.
Patient: "I was giving myself an enema and the tip of the tube broke off in my butt and I think it traveled up to my heart because now I'm having chest pain. Can y'all get it out of my heart?"
Patient: "My toe has been hurting ever since I stubbed it three months ago."
Nurse: "Okay, we don't have any beds right now so you can have a seat back in the waiting room."
Patient: "Oh really? Well now I'm having some chest pain, too."
Nurse: "Okay. Have a seat and I'll call your name when we get a bed."
Patient: "But I have chest pain now, shouldn't I go straight back?"
Patient: "How come you called him to go back before me? I was here first."
Nurse: "It's not based on who gets here first. It depends on what you sign in for."
Patient: "Well I have stomach pain, what's he have that is better than that? He don't look that sick."
And one to end on...
Doctor: "You tested positive for gonorrhea. That's a sexually transmitted disease."
Patient: "Awesome, that's the one that's treatable right? Give me my shot and I'm good to go."
Have a nice day. : )