Sharing a few more little treasures from the Emergency Room today. Enjoy.
Nurse: "So what brought you to the Emergency Room today?"
Patient: "Well last night I got into a fight at the club and I got stabbed with a knife."
Nurse: "Okay, where did this happen? We are required to call the police with all assaults."
Patient: "Oh. I didn't know that. I'll be right back."
(takes off running out of the ER, never comes back...too bad we already have your name, buddy)
Patient: "I got into a car accident four days ago and I want to get checked out."
Nurse: "Okay, where exactly are you hurting?"
Patient: "I'm not hurting right now. I just left my lawyer's office and he sent me here."
Patient: "I'm having pain down there."
Nurse: "Where exactly is down there?"
Patient: "You know, in my private areas."
Nurse: "Okay, when did that start?"
Patient: "I think it started about three weeks ago when I got a condom stuck in there."
Nurse: "Is it still stuck in there?"
Patient: "I don't know. I think so. I never saw it come back out."
Doctor: "We got the test results back and you aren't pregnant. You said you took a test at home and it was positive. When was that?
Patient: "Well, it wasn't really positive. I just wanted to see if my boyfriend would stay with me if I got pregnant, so I faked it. Can I go now?"
See part one here and part two here.
56 comments:
bahahaha ... this cracks me up! You have a very interesting job. Although I usually hear silly stuff at my job, it's just usually the guy I share an office with ;)
Bahahahaha!!! I love these!!! People are so weird/stupid/gross!!
HAHAHAHA!!! People are so crazy.
oh my! I just love reading these posts of yours-thanks for always providing my morning laugh!! :)
oh my goodness... and thats just four people. yikes!
atleast you always go to work with the possible of meeting some sort of crazy. :)
Goodness...there are some really crazy people out there. But it's good there are because it gives everyone else a nice little giggle! :) I love this little series! :)
bAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you for starting my day off with a laugh. Those are GREAT!!!!
Love the not prego story, what a hoot!
xoxo
I LOVE these post! Sooo freakin funny!!
Hahaha laughed to the point of snorting in my office. :) What a fun read to start off my morning!
I LOVE reading these - they are hysterical. The bad lawyers in the bunch give us all a bad name haha
Oh my gosh, people are just plain crazy sometimes!
Oh my!!! People are crazy!!!
Oh my! Crazy people!
these are great. people are crazy!! too too funny!!
Oh my gosh. Bahaha. I can't wait to get out of nursing school.
Love reading these, my husband works in hospital and sometimes in the ER and has funny stories just like these :) Thank you for a good morning laugh!
this is hilarious!! i can only imagine the stupid things people say. i work in customer service and luckily don't have to see them face to face when they get ridiculous. LOL
This is amazing -- I love it! Too funny!
Jaimie
www.jaimiehart.blogspot.com
Hahahah, the knife guy...really?!
And oh wow...the car accident...are these people really that stupid??
And....lol ok ALL of these are just ridiculous!!!
It's almost scary to think how DUMB some people are!! haha! I would never say these things... so humorous
Nice!
These are great!
oh my! I loved these haha
I went and read your old ones too!
xxx Jessica
Keep these coming! They make me laugh! People are so dumb sometimes!
Oh my gosh this must make for some REALLY interesting days at work!!! Haha. I guess you just have to shake your head eh?
OH my gosh!! hahah wow!
OMG! People are crazy :) Loving these stories.
HA these are hilarious! especially the last two hahaha. i think working in the ER would be so exciting!
How do you get a condom stuck in your......never mind. I don't want to know.
OMG guys should so be warned about girls like the last one. Of course I knew about those kinds of girls in high school, but my husband didn't.....
Oh and my aunt is an ER doc. She said she had a gal come in one time who thought she was pregnant. She was on Medicaid/medicare/welfare, I don't know something like that (sorry sometimes I can't keep up with that stuff b/c I don't deal with it on a regular basis). she didn't want to wait in the waiting room so she and her mom left, went home, called the ambulance, said she thought she was having a miscarriage. They came and picked her up and then she wanted the preg check run. Luckily one of the nurses had seen her earlier and pointed it out so my aunt made her wait something like 2 hrs for results because of this, then came in, told her the results (not preg) and chewed her out without chewing her out about tying up the ambulance for something like this when she could have bought a home pregnancy test... b/c the ambulance could have had to save someone in an extreme emergency but was tied up with her.
I just can't even believe these things happen. Psycho people!!
Wow...these are hilarious.
I could NEVER do your job. I just don't have the patience for it!!!
Oh my gosh, these are hilarious! But seriously? Some people just need to come in when they have actual emergencies!!!
Oh this is hilarious! This sounds like some of the random things that I hear in my office. I cracked up reading this!
LMAO!!! these are classic! i work with the ER and you would be SHOCKED at all the crazyness that comes in the door. def LOVE working there...never a dull day!
http://infinitelifefitness.com
http://mscomposure.blogspot.com
Hahaha! These are my favourite posts ever! LOL at the guy running away after the nurse said thy had to report the assault! :O
Oh My...
wow, that can't feel well having a condom up there for that long. Eek. I knew someone who forgot she had a tampon in and stuck another in and couldn't get the 2nd out and had to go to the dr. =/
Silly people.
Emily at Amazing Grapes
Oh the things that we get to hear sometimes as nurses. It cracks me up!!!!
One time this dude goes "Um, just so you know, I have a tampon in my rectum."
Me: "What? Why?"
PT: "I was having diarrhea and didn't know how to stop it."
Me: speechless.
Never did I think I would have to pull a tampon out of someone's butt hole. I swear they need to pay us more.
bahahahaha. i just love these posts! people are definitely nuts!
You have to laugh at people like this! The Lord knows when you need a good laugh at work. Love the royal blue scrubs. We have to wear those at the hospital I work at too :)
So funny! On the one hand I think, "Gees, it's a shame that these people are what good doctors (like my hubs!) and nurses (like you!) have to expend their energy on and put up with every day. But on the other hand, they keep you in business...they put your food on the table! So, Thank You Lord for nutty people! ;)
Oh my goodness, how do you guys not laugh in their faces?
Those are some gems right there. :)
Love these soo much! :))
These totally made my day. Hilarious!
Oh my gosh! People are crazy!
Oh my word... the last two hahahaha
Do you know what I got out of this post? Other than the obvious...I have decided that you have one sexy bootay. No joke!
These give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!"
Not sure if the condom came out?! GAG!!!
I love these posts! haha
Not sure if the condom came out?! GAG!!!
I love these posts! haha
People are CRAZY! That's all.
my goodness!!!
Wowza! Those are hysterical!
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