Church yesterday was one of those "wow" sermons, that hit you deep and hard and stick with you the rest of the day. The kind that make you think and stir your heart.
Our church has been reading the book Sun Stand Still (by Steven Furtick), which talks about boldly praying/asking God to do things and believing that those things will be done, as people in the Bible did. It's about asking God to make the sun stand still - which means a miracle of some sort, whether it's curing sickness or healing a relationship, etc. It takes that whole scripture "tell a mountain to move and it will be moved" to life and challenges us to really live and believe like that every single day.
But yesterday in church we talked about what happens when you do live/believe like that and it doesn't happen. What about the times when Godly people are in a crisis and they ask God to perform a miracle and He doesn't? What do we do when God doesn't make that miracle happen, even though we believed?
I think this sermon really hit home with me because of our miscarriage. That was the hardest thing that I've ever had to go through and I prayed for a miracle during the waiting days between appointments. We prayed, family prayed, friends prayed, some of y'all that knew prayed...we all asked God to "make the sun stand still" and save our baby. But it didn't happen.
So I've been exactly there, exactly where we were talking about in church yesterday. When you fervently believe that God can and will do something, but He doesn't. And even though I've been through it, I still don't have an easy answer. I don't understand God's will all the time. But I chose to believe and trust Him anyway. I believe that He answered my prayer, just not in the way that I asked. He used our situation to bring glory and honor to Him.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately because right now, I should be holding a baby in my arms. I was due on August 25. I'm not holding a baby in my arms, but I have a sweet baby girl in my stomach. I still don't have all the answers as to why we have to go through bad things, but I know that without that miscarriage, I wouldn't have my sweet Emory now. She wouldn't exist. And while I certainly wouldn't have planned things out this way and I love our first baby just as much, this is the way God planned it for us and He has brought so much good from it.
So I hope that whatever you are going through right now, whatever crisis is attacking you right now, whether you are still waiting for God to answer your prayer or He already answered it and it wasn't the way you planned, still believe. Still trust. Still hang in there. God has not forsaken you.
True faith begins when we can't see/understand.