Church yesterday was one of those "wow" sermons, that hit you deep and hard and stick with you the rest of the day. The kind that make you think and stir your heart.
Our church has been reading the book Sun Stand Still (by Steven Furtick), which talks about boldly praying/asking God to do things and believing that those things will be done, as people in the Bible did. It's about asking God to make the sun stand still - which means a miracle of some sort, whether it's curing sickness or healing a relationship, etc. It takes that whole scripture "tell a mountain to move and it will be moved" to life and challenges us to really live and believe like that every single day.
But yesterday in church we talked about what happens when you do live/believe like that and it doesn't happen. What about the times when Godly people are in a crisis and they ask God to perform a miracle and He doesn't? What do we do when God doesn't make that miracle happen, even though we believed?
I think this sermon really hit home with me because of our miscarriage. That was the hardest thing that I've ever had to go through and I prayed for a miracle during the waiting days between appointments. We prayed, family prayed, friends prayed, some of y'all that knew prayed...we all asked God to "make the sun stand still" and save our baby. But it didn't happen.
So I've been exactly there, exactly where we were talking about in church yesterday. When you fervently believe that God can and will do something, but He doesn't. And even though I've been through it, I still don't have an easy answer. I don't understand God's will all the time. But I chose to believe and trust Him anyway. I believe that He answered my prayer, just not in the way that I asked. He used our situation to bring glory and honor to Him.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately because right now, I should be holding a baby in my arms. I was due on August 25. I'm not holding a baby in my arms, but I have a sweet baby girl in my stomach. I still don't have all the answers as to why we have to go through bad things, but I know that without that miscarriage, I wouldn't have my sweet Emory now. She wouldn't exist. And while I certainly wouldn't have planned things out this way and I love our first baby just as much, this is the way God planned it for us and He has brought so much good from it.
So I hope that whatever you are going through right now, whatever crisis is attacking you right now, whether you are still waiting for God to answer your prayer or He already answered it and it wasn't the way you planned, still believe. Still trust. Still hang in there. God has not forsaken you.
True faith begins when we can't see/understand.
24 comments:
Thank you for sharing this! What a great message! I, too, have struggled since our miscarriage last year. June was really hard for me because that's when I should have been holding a baby too. However, just this past week, I made {some} peace with the whole situation when I realized that it would have been very difficult to have a newborn right now with my new job. I know my husband and I would have worked it out somehow, but, deep down, I know now that God truly does have a better plan in mind. I just have to keep telling myself to trust in Him!
so so beautiful Meg....Loved this so much.
I think that we are toddlers to eternal perspective and we just arent capable of understanding why our Heavenly Father does certain things sometimes. It is impossible for us to wrap our minds around why horrible things happen to good people right now, but one day, we will understand why he did EVERYTHING that he did. I also think that faith has everything to do with it.
Sometimes he can't make the sun stand still for us, but sometimes he does. I am shocked and amazed when I pray for something very specific and get it right away...how wonderful it is to know that the most powerful being in the universe really truly loves me despite the fact that I fail him d a i l y! An example was one time at work I was alone with an overly medicated, confused and angry patient. She attacked me and punched me in the face while I had no way of calling for help. I was scared and completely at a loss at what to do, but I said a quick prayer in my head and she promptly calmed down, turned around, got back in to bed and went to sleep for the next few hours. That soooo counts as making the sun stand still for me.
amen. i've never had to go through a miscarriage (i've never even had the joy of being pregnant), but i can't imagine how hard that is. you're right though- if it hadn't happened, you wouldn't have little emory. anyway, loved the message in this blog post.
Meg... This is amazing. It will be so awesome to have this to go back and read the next time something happens where God doesn't respond the way we think He should. You've experienced Jesus and you know something about Him that nothing will ever be able to touch.. He loves you and you can trust Him. No matter what. Love y'all and praising Jesus for Emory today!!!! :
I love this. There are so many things that we'll go through in life where God's answer is "no" or "not right now". It's hard to go through that but I TRUST that He knows exactly what I need for my life!
Beautiful post. I also went through the praying for a miracle during a pregnancy loss, and the feelings of pain on what should have been my due date(s). However, when those due dates came around, I was pregnant again - this time with Ellie, the baby I finally got to take home. And as much as I loved the lost babies, as soon as I held Ellie in my arms I knew she was meant to be my baby. If I hadn't gone through those losses, I wouldn't have her. I don't know why it was God's plan to call those first babies home early and give me Ellie to keep here with me, but I know it was absolutely how it was meant to happen.
In the moment when you're praying for a miracle that doesn't happen, it can be so hard to have faith that God has a plan for us, but he does. He knows so, so much better than we do.
Great message, Megan!
A beautiful post. After losing our Hope, I was in that place. We had been praying so hard for a baby. Now we are trying again. I know that God has used our loss to bring him Glory. Our story has brought me new friends and has touched many. It has grown us.
He is so faithful, isn't He?
Lauren
auntlala25.blogspot.com
This brought me to tears. Thos is a beautiful post. Love you!
Have you read heaven is for real?? If not you HAVE TO!!! There is a small part about seeing your baby in heaven....you will get chills!! My pastor gave it to me w our miscarriage....
I just love you Meg! You truly have a way with words and I know you are touching so many lives through your blog. You really inspire me dear :)
Thanks for sharing this. I really needed it. I've been so stressed out lately between school and work and trying to have some sort of social life that I've just been praying for something to give. I'm still waiting, but I'll just keep praying, because he knows what is best! Thanks girl :)
I know that this is speaking to just the right person today. Thank you for so beautifully sharing your beautiful heart, Megan. :)
Been in your shoes, as you know. I wouldn't have my sweet Annabella. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are above our thoughts. We have to trust that He knows better than us. (That's why HE is God ;)
Love you, girl. :)
That is true faith! When you say I don't understand over and over again but He remains there comforting you.
Been there for sure!
Emily at Amazing Grapes
love this post. If I asked about my mom's ectopic pregnancy growing up, she would tell me how if that hadn't happened she wouldn't have me.
The last line is such a good one. True faith starts begins when we can't see/understand.
Another one I like a lot is Faith is believing in things that don't always make sense.
( or believing in the midst of situations that don't make sense).
This is a great post. Thanks for sharing!
This a great post, thank you for sharing! And I am so glad that the Lord is speaking to you in so many different ways, and healing the break in your heart.
x
Tears....
love you my friend!
I love everything about this post! I watch Steven Furtick all the time for church online. I actually have Sun Stand Still but haven't read it yet. The miracle we need is the exact kind that Steven Furtick writes about in this book & the sermon series. Have you watched that series yet?? It's amazing!
Thaks for posting this :) I need to go find my book & read it :) love you sweet friend! XO
Girl, you are wise beyond your years! Beautiful post and something I need to remember more often.
This brought to me tears and was just the message that I needed to hear today. My husband and I have been attempting to have a baby for over a year now with no luck. And I'm getting really tired of waiting for our moment to come, but I need to remember to be patient; everything will happen when the time is right. Thank you for this post!
Thank you for this beautiful post!! I am going to check out this book.
Oh gosh, I love this. I can't help but keep thinking about these situations that we don't understand as the whole basis of the verse in Corinthians. We see through a clouded glass now, but one day...it'll all make sense. We'll see it clearly.
Megan, you're so brave so share not only the good... but the bad too. I struggle often with wondering why 'bad' things happen. I'm very impatient and often want things to happen when I want them... I'm learning to trust in God's plans, and it's not always easy.
It's amazing to see His plans work just the way He wanted them to. I'm so glad you're able to see the good in your experience with miscarriage. That would be so difficult to deal with, but you've managed to share it with your blog readers in a way that shows God's love for us. Thank you for sharing!
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